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Last week, I did two things I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. First, I finished a research paper I’ve been working on for many a fortnight; and second, I went to the Lincoln Museum in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Both experiences reinforced the idea that: in the course of just doing stuff, you just might learn something.

The research project I finished was an inquiry into the possible presence and/or influence of “traditional” gender role socialization, on the events and circumstances surrounding the recent Hayes Arboretum controversy. If your not familiar with it; basically, the Hayes Foundation rezoned 33+ acres of forested nature preserve, located directly on top of a sensitive aquifer that supplies 33% of the city’s drinking water, for the purposes of building a strip mall. Trees and wildlife, gone. Frisch’s Big Boy, Walgreens, Kohl’s, Starbucks, and Menards, going strong. For further detail, check out:

www.fotaweb.com

and/or

www.hayesarboretum.org.

During the course of my research, I interviewed four proponents and 3 opponents of the rezoning, land sale, and strip mall development. And, in doing so, I thought I was basically just going through the motions necessary to confirm my suspicions that the strip mall people were sexist and a few leaves shy of a tree limb (if you know what I mean). I was wrong.

Interview-based research requires that the researcher actually listen to interviewees’ own stories in order to identify their beliefs and attitudes. And in doing so in my own research, I found something I hadn’t expected. The imagined tree-killing, strip-malling, evildoers were… regular people. In fact, they were extremely similar to us, the good people. All of the respondents had similar backgrounds. Most all were fervent supporters of nature and animals and all that sort of stuff. All wanted to protect the water supply. All were advocates of economic development, job creation, and increasing the tax base. All wanted to save the Arboretum, to the point that both laid claim to the title, “Friends of the Arboretum.” They all wanted the same things, but they were never able to communicate this fact. They came at the issue with different perspectives, and in that they were not required to listen to each other in order to get a good grade on their papers at IU East, they never came to understand one another’s point of view. Drat.

My step-father regularly states as his own personal maxim, “Communications, world’s biggest problem.” To which my mother jokingly replies, “What?” In a more tragic/comic than joking way, they express the issue concisely. We did not listen; therefore, we did not understand; therefore we did not communicate; therefore, we missed a real opportunity to cooperate on a solution that would satisfy all parties involved. Drat.

At the Lincoln Museum, I realized, quite inadvertently, that I am not the first to recognize this fact that we all have much more in common than in difference, yet consistently fail to communicate. During the first famous Lincoln Douglas debate, Abraham Lincoln related:

“Before proceeding, let me say I think I have no prejudice against the Southern people. They are just what we would be in their situation. If slavery did not now exist among them, they would not introduce it. If it did now exist amongst us, we should not instantly give it up. This I believe of the masses North and South. Doubtless there are individuals on both sides, who would not hold slaves under any circumstances; and others who would gladly introduce slavery anew, if it were out of existence. We know that some Southern men do free their slaves, go North, and become tiptop Abolitionists; while some Northern ones go South, and become most cruel slave-masters.”

Here, Lincoln demonstrates that people, generally speaking, really are quite similar. And he identifies with his Southern foes, in that he knows that, given different circumstances, he might have exactly the same perspective on the issue, of in this case, slavery. Unfortunately however, he seems to have come to the conclusion that, a house divided cannot stand, and that the only solution was for one side, whichever side, to beat the other side into submission, at a total cost of over 618,000 lives. Maybe there was no real alternative, but man, that’s a tough way to go.

So, it’s been 148 years, 11 months, and 24 days since Lincoln made this first debate speech, and we still have a lot in common, but are still also not listening to and identifying with one another. Drat. It’s a lesson that, for me, has been a long time coming, but one that I think I’ve finally got. Here, in this blog, on this day, August 14, 2007, I do solemnly declare my commitment to listen in order to understand.

In all seriousness, asking questions, listening, understanding, and empathizing with others may not be practical, viable, efficient, or effective in every circumstance, but it is something. It’s something we can do, everyday, to work towards a better tomorrow. I’m thankful for having the opportunity IU East has given me to learn such a valuable lesson. All I have to do now, is do my best to apply it.

P.S. I do recommend this: if you have a chance, check out the Lincoln Museum (it’s rated one of America’s 50 top museums; and, if you get a chance, check out IU East (it’s rated #1 in my book, which I haven’t written yet, but come on, I just finished that big paper). And, it’s so cool that the admission to the museum is $5 (with Lincoln on it) and they give you back a penny (with Lincoln on it). They don’t hand out pennies at IU East, but sometimes I do leave a nickel on top of the coffee machine on the first floor of Middlefork Hall. Just sayin’.